Hold Me Jesus 'Cause I'm shaking like a leaf You have been King of my glory Would you be my Prince of Peace?
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:27
When my world is shaking, Heaven stands When my heart is breaking, I never leave Your hands
"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:10
Dwight passed away at 1:30 a.m. on Sunday, May 22.
This week I have been overwhelmed with emotion. My emotions have run the gamut of despair, peace, anxiety, zeal, disappointment, sadness, longing, frustration, and hope.
Throughout it all, I have been reading Bittersweet by Shauna Niequest. I have been thankful for her insights and reminders. The premise of the book is written on the back and has become, for me, a passage of challenge and encouragement:
The idea of bittersweet is changing the way I live, unraveling and re-weaving the way I understand life. Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a sliver of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich when it contains a splinter of sadness.
Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. It's courageous, gutsy, audacious, earthy.
This is what I've come to believe about change: it's good, in the way that childbirth is good, and heartbreak is good, and failure is good. I've learned the hard way that change is one of God's greatest gifts, and most useful tools. Change can push us, pull us, rebuke us, and remake us. It can show us who we've become, in the worst ways, and also in the best ways. I've learned that it's not something to run away from, as though we could, and that in many cases, change is a function of God's graciousness, not life's cruelty.
I think this week has been bittersweet. While death, loss, emptiness, and sadness are very real, I am so thankful for what is beautiful in the midst of it. Will you join me in thanking God for...?
Dwight's life and friendship
How Dwight knew Jesus and is now dancing in heaven
The way Dwight's family has been supported by extended family, friends, and even strangers
The reminder that life is short and precious, requiring that we live life to the fullest
That the same way a friend's death following brain damage was a step in Dwight's spiritual journey, now Dwight's life and physical death can be a stepping stone to transformation for others (See his testimony here.)
The spiritual transformation of some of Dwight's family members
An opportunity to cling to God's promises even when we don't understand circumstances
The fact that we always have reason to worship
The following song is an honest observation of what we hope and pray for, while it is also recognizes that blessings come through raindrops and healing comes through tears.
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops What if Your healing comes through tears And what if a thousand sleepless nights Are what it takes to know You’re near What if my greatest disappointments Or the aching of this life Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy And what if trials of this life The rain, the storms, the hardest nights Are Your mercies in disguise
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea...." Psalm 46:1-2
"The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him." Nahum 1:7
Note: I will continue to post a few songs over the next few days that have ministered to me through acknowledgment of God as God, as well as honesty in pain and brokenness. Please follow the blog and/or check back often for song updates. Consider the posts ongoing opportunities for prayer and worship in the midst of a season of loss. If you have any song recommendations, please do not hesitate to contact me.
As of 8:43 p.m. Pacific Time, Dwight was still holding on.
While I am not sure what this means, if anything, for his medical outlook, I am certain that God continues to take care of Dwight and maintains the power to do the unexpected. I can say with confidence that Dwight will be restored, whether in heaven or here on earth.
Thank you to those who joined us in our united day of prayer and fasting. Your participation is an example of faithfulness and obedience to God. If Dwight's miraculous healing does not happen here on earth, we know it is not for lack of prayer. Still, I urge you to continue praying for Dwight and his close friends and family. Above all, pray that God would be glorified and thank God that Dwight has a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ.
While we pray, let's remember that our God is mighty to save.
Please continue to post or Email (hillary.mortensen@gmail.com) your prayers, comments, and stories. If you would like to contribute a blog entry, please let me know, and we can set that up.
Have you, like me, given into the temptation to get so wound up in just making it through the busy day that you forget what it is to feel rested and restored? It is at times like those when I think I must always be doing, and am never being,that I do not remain diligent in cultivating my relationship with God through prayer, Bible study, and worship…and it shows.
I can sense that peace and joy have been replaced by anxiety and dissatisfaction. I lack the strength to fend off the arrows of the enemy that lead me to envy, covet, and worry. Confidence in Christ is replaced by self-consciousness. Discouragement smothers hope. I wake up and think of my to-do list before thinking on all Christ has done for me.
Today, perhaps even on a day set aside for prayer, you haven’t taken the time to be still before God. Maybe prayer has been another item to cross off the to-do list. Take at least a few minute to stop and worship. Listen to God; wait on Him.
Romans 12:12 instructs us: “Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.”
So, friends, in spite of the situation we find ourselves in that brings us together today…Rejoice. Be patient. And keep on praying. Our prayers are powerful and effective.
"Someone has said that when we work, we work; but when we pray, God works. His supernatural strength is available to praying people who are convinced to the core of their beings that he can make a difference." ~Bill Hybels
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13-14
Ponder these facts about the human body, as compiled by Listverse:
1. The stomach’s digestive acids are strong enough to dissolve zinc. Fortunately for us, the cells in the stomach lining renew so quickly that the acids don’t have time to dissolve it.
2. The lungs contain over 300,000 million capillaries (tiny blood vessels). If they were laid end to end, they would stretch 2400km (1500 miles).
3. A man’s testicles manufacture 10 million new sperm cells each day – enough that he could repopulate the entire planet in only 6 months!
4. Human bone is as strong as granite in supporting weight. A block of bone the size of a matchbox can support 9 tonnes – that is four times as much as concrete can support.
5. Each finger and toenail takes six months to grow from base to tip.
6. The largest organ in the body is the skin. In an adult man it covers about 1.9m2 (20sq ft). The skin constantly flakes away – in a lifetime each person sheds around 18kg (40 lb) of skin.
7. When you sleep, you grow by about 8mm (0.3in). The next day you shrink back to your former height. The reason is that your cartilage discs are squeezed like sponges by the force of gravity when you stand or sit.
8. The average person in the west eats 50 tonnes of food and drinks 50,000 litres (11,000 gallons) of liquid during his life.
9. Each kidney contains 1 million individual filters. They filter an average of around 1.3 litres (2.2 pints) of blood per minute and expel up to 1.4 litres (2.5 pints) a day of urine.
10. The focusing muscles of the eyes move around 100,000 times a day. To give your leg muscles the same workout, you would need to walk 80km (50 miles) every day.
11. In 30 minutes, the average body gives off enough heat (combined) to bring a half gallon of water to boil.
12. A single human blood cell takes only 60 seconds to make a complete circuit of the body.
13. A foreskin, the size of a postage stamp, from circumcised babies take only 21 days to grow skin that can cover three (3) basketball courts. Amazing isn’t it. Thanks to science. The laboratory-grown skin is used in treating burn patients.
14. The eyes receive approximately 90 percent of all our information, making us basically visual creatures.
15. The female ovaries contain nearly half-a-million egg cells, yet only 400 or so will ever get the opportunity to create a new life.
Furthermore, as professor of exercise physiology Dr. Phillip Bishop points out, "If you're in average physical condition, [your heart] beats between 60 and 70 times per minute, 93,000 times per day, 655,000 times per week, 34 million times per year, and 2.4 billion beats in the average lifetime. What's so amazing is that, most of the time, it fuels itself, paces itself, repairs itself, and alters itself in response to lifestyle changes, with no conscious effort on your part."
In short, our bodies are AMAZING...and yes, that even includes those of you who suffer from illness, chronic pain, or real or perceived (you know who you are) old age. The complexity of the human body, therefore, points to an intelligent designer (the arguments for which are many and include those from modern times and those dating back many years).
God, our Creator, our Designer, made our bodies, each cell, each nerve, each muscle, each bone. And He, our Wonderful Maker, who formed Dwight's inward parts and wove him together while he was still in the womb, knows exactly what is needed to "piece back together" Dwight's body, in order that he would be healed. We may not know, even the doctors may not know, but God knows. Right now, praise God for His beauty and complexity, as demonstrated by the human body. Thank God for forming us carefully and for knowing how to restore Dwight's body and being powerful enough to do so. Ask God for the miraculous, for synapses to fire that haven't been firing, for cells to regenerate even when science says they won't, and for his brain to return to full functioning.
When I don't know what to do, I'll lift my hands. When I don't know what to say, I'll speak Your praise. When I don't know where to go, I'll run to your throne. When I don't know what to think, I'll stand on your truth.
I'll just trust in You.
Psalm 52: 9
God, I will thank you forever for what you have done. With those who worship you, I will trust you because you are good.
