I Can Only Imagine

Unfailing Love

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
Isaiah 54:10

Our Goodbye is Not the End

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, receiving the end of your faith the salvation of your souls.
1 Peter 1:3-9

Cry Out to Jesus

... because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."
Romans 8:14 & 15

Soar

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
Isaiah 40:28-31

I Still Believe

But it's now that I feel your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip, washing away my pain

Cause I still believe in your faithfulness
Cause I still believe in your truth
Cause I still believe in your holy Word
Cause even when I don't see, I still believe

"The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
forever."
Psalm 23

Joy to my Soul

Jesus, You're more than a friend
Jesus, You're more than my heart could ever express
Your love and Your grace never fail
Your merciful touch always heals me
You bring joy to my soul, joy to my soul

Hold Me Jesus

Hold Me Jesus
'Cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
Would you be my Prince of Peace?

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
John 14:27

Never Leaving God's Hands

When my world is shaking,
Heaven stands
When my heart is breaking,
I never leave Your hands

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you."
Isaiah 54:10

Bittersweet: Mercies in Disguise

Dwight passed away at 1:30 a.m. on Sunday, May 22.

This week I have been overwhelmed with emotion. My emotions have run the gamut of despair, peace, anxiety, zeal, disappointment, sadness, longing, frustration, and hope.

Throughout it all, I have been reading Bittersweet by Shauna Niequest. I have been thankful for her insights and reminders. The premise of the book is written on the back and has become, for me, a passage of challenge and encouragement:

The idea of bittersweet is changing the way I live, unraveling and re-weaving the way I understand life. Bittersweet is the idea that in all things there is both something broken and something beautiful, that there is a sliver of lightness on even the darkest of nights, a shadow of hope in every heartbreak, and that rejoicing is no less rich when it contains a splinter of sadness.

Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need both the bitter and the sweet. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. It's courageous, gutsy, audacious, earthy.

This is what I've come to believe about change: it's good, in the way that childbirth is good, and heartbreak is good, and failure is good. I've learned the hard way that change is one of God's greatest gifts, and most useful tools. Change can push us, pull us, rebuke us, and remake us. It can show us who we've become, in the worst ways, and also in the best ways. I've learned that it's not something to run away from, as though we could, and that in many cases, change is a function of God's graciousness, not life's cruelty.

I think this week has been bittersweet. While death, loss, emptiness, and sadness are very real, I am so thankful for what is beautiful in the midst of it. Will you join me in thanking God for...?

• Dwight's life and friendship
• How Dwight knew Jesus and is now dancing in heaven
  
• The way Dwight's family has been supported by extended family, friends, and even strangers
• The reminder that life is short and precious, requiring that we live life to the fullest
• That the same way a friend's death following brain damage was a step in Dwight's spiritual journey, now Dwight's life and physical death can be a stepping stone to transformation for others (See his testimony here.)
  
• The spiritual transformation of some of Dwight's family members
• An opportunity to cling to God's promises even when we don't understand circumstances
  
• The fact that we always have reason to worship

The following song is an honest observation of what we hope and pray for, while it is also recognizes that blessings come through raindrops and healing comes through tears.

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise


"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea...."
Psalm 46:1-2

"The LORD is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him."
Nahum 1:7

Note: I will continue to post a few songs over the next few days that have ministered to me through acknowledgment of God as God, as well as honesty in pain and brokenness. Please follow the blog and/or check back often for song updates. Consider the posts ongoing opportunities for prayer and worship in the midst of a season of loss. If you have any song recommendations, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Morning After: Keep Praying, Centurions!

As of 8:43 p.m. Pacific Time, Dwight was still holding on.

While I am not sure what this means, if anything, for his medical outlook, I am certain that God continues to take care of Dwight and maintains the power to do the unexpected. I can say with confidence that Dwight will be restored, whether in heaven or here on earth.

Thank you to those who joined us in our united day of prayer and fasting. Your participation is an example of faithfulness and obedience to God. If Dwight's miraculous healing does not happen here on earth, we know it is not for lack of prayer. Still, I urge you to continue praying for Dwight and his close friends and family. Above all, pray that God would be glorified and thank God that Dwight has a relationship with Him through Jesus Christ.

While we pray, let's remember that our God is mighty to save.



Please continue to post or Email (hillary.mortensen@gmail.com) your prayers, comments, and stories. If you would like to contribute a blog entry, please let me know, and we can set that up.

Evening: I Will Be Still

Have you, like me, given into the temptation to get so wound up in just making it through the busy day that you forget what it is to feel rested and restored? It is at times like those when I think I must always be doing, and am never being, that I do not remain diligent in cultivating my relationship with God through prayer, Bible study, and worship…and it shows.

I can sense that peace and joy have been replaced by anxiety and dissatisfaction. I lack the strength to fend off the arrows of the enemy that lead me to envy, covet, and worry. Confidence in Christ is replaced by self-consciousness. Discouragement smothers hope. I wake up and think of my to-do list before thinking on all Christ has done for me.

Today, perhaps even on a day set aside for prayer, you haven’t taken the time to be still before God. Maybe prayer has been another item to cross off the to-do list. Take at least a few minute to stop and worship. Listen to God; wait on Him.

Romans 12:12 instructs us: “Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.”

So, friends, in spite of the situation we find ourselves in that brings us together today…Rejoice. Be patient. And keep on praying. Our prayers are powerful and effective.

"Someone has said that when we work, we work; but when we pray, God works. His supernatural strength is available to praying people who are convinced to the core of their beings that he can make a difference."
~Bill Hybels

Good night. Let's meet again in the morning.

Dinner: Wonderful Maker

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

Psalm 139:13-14

Ponder these facts about the human body, as compiled by Listverse:

1. The stomach’s digestive acids are strong enough to dissolve zinc. Fortunately for us, the cells in the stomach lining renew so quickly that the acids don’t have time to dissolve it.

2. The lungs contain over 300,000 million capillaries (tiny blood vessels). If they were laid end to end, they would stretch 2400km (1500 miles).

3. A man’s testicles manufacture 10 million new sperm cells each day – enough that he could repopulate the entire planet in only 6 months!

4. Human bone is as strong as granite in supporting weight. A block of bone the size of a matchbox can support 9 tonnes – that is four times as much as concrete can support.

5. Each finger and toenail takes six months to grow from base to tip.

6. The largest organ in the body is the skin. In an adult man it covers about 1.9m2 (20sq ft). The skin constantly flakes away – in a lifetime each person sheds around 18kg (40 lb) of skin.

7. When you sleep, you grow by about 8mm (0.3in). The next day you shrink back to your former height. The reason is that your cartilage discs are squeezed like sponges by the force of gravity when you stand or sit.

8. The average person in the west eats 50 tonnes of food and drinks 50,000 litres (11,000 gallons) of liquid during his life.

9. Each kidney contains 1 million individual filters. They filter an average of around 1.3 litres (2.2 pints) of blood per minute and expel up to 1.4 litres (2.5 pints) a day of urine.

10. The focusing muscles of the eyes move around 100,000 times a day. To give your leg muscles the same workout, you would need to walk 80km (50 miles) every day.

11. In 30 minutes, the average body gives off enough heat (combined) to bring a half gallon of water to boil.

12. A single human blood cell takes only 60 seconds to make a complete circuit of the body.

13. A foreskin, the size of a postage stamp, from circumcised babies take only 21 days to grow skin that can cover three (3) basketball courts. Amazing isn’t it. Thanks to science. The laboratory-grown skin is used in treating burn patients.

14. The eyes receive approximately 90 percent of all our information, making us basically visual creatures.

15. The female ovaries contain nearly half-a-million egg cells, yet only 400 or so will ever get the opportunity to create a new life.

Furthermore, as professor of exercise physiology Dr. Phillip Bishop points out, "If you're in average physical condition, [your heart] beats between 60 and 70 times per minute, 93,000 times per day, 655,000 times per week, 34 million times per year, and 2.4 billion beats in the average lifetime. What's so amazing is that, most of the time, it fuels itself, paces itself, repairs itself, and alters itself in response to lifestyle changes, with no conscious effort on your part."

In short, our bodies are AMAZING...and yes, that even includes those of you who suffer from illness, chronic pain, or real or perceived (you know who you are) old age. The complexity of the human body, therefore, points to an intelligent designer (the arguments for which are many and include those from modern times and those dating back many years).

God, our Creator, our Designer, made our bodies, each cell, each nerve, each muscle, each bone. And He, our Wonderful Maker, who formed Dwight's inward parts and wove him together while he was still in the womb, knows exactly what is needed to "piece back together" Dwight's body, in order that he would be healed. We may not know, even the doctors may not know, but God knows. Right now, praise God for His beauty and complexity, as demonstrated by the human body. Thank God for forming us carefully and for knowing how to restore Dwight's body and being powerful enough to do so. Ask God for the miraculous, for synapses to fire that haven't been firing, for cells to regenerate even when science says they won't, and for his brain to return to full functioning.

Marvel:




Note: For those of you who are interested in exploring arguments that point toward an intelligent designer, I encourage you to check out these resources:
Evidence of God in Human Physiology
Using God's Design to Communicate Faith
Origins: A list of scholarly and popular articles concerning Intelligent Design
DNA, Design, and the Origin of Life
The Teleological Argument and the Anthropic Principle (highly intellectual)

Mid Afternoon: When You Don't Know What to Do

When I don't know what to do,
I'll lift my hands.
When I don't know what to say,
I'll speak Your praise.
When I don't know where to go,
I'll run to your throne.
When I don't know what to think,
I'll stand on your truth.

I'll just trust in You.


Psalm 52: 9

God, I will thank you forever for what you have done.
With those who worship you, I will trust you because you are good.

Lunch: Giving Thanks

This is my jar full of thankful. Each marble in it represents something I am thankful for. Today my thankful jar consists of thanks for blessings such as friends and family who surround loved ones with prayer, financial provision even without full employment, and a God who continues to reveal His amazing love and power to me through His Word.

Today, I encourage you to create "a jar full of thankful" both for your life and for Dwight's. You may not have a jar of marbles (although I highly recommend it for the audible sound of thanks each clink provides), but take a handful of something --- paperclips, coins, candies, etc. --- and one by one, hold the item, lift up a prayer of thanks to God for something specific in your life, and then set aside that item. Do this with each item until you have a set aside pile of "thankfuls." Here are a few reasons to give thanks, just to help you get started:

• You are alive and breathing today and in relative good health if you are reading this.
• For Dwight's stable condition beyond all odds. (According to my amateur research, patients without any brain activity do not have a heartbeat and are not able to breathe on on their own beyond 48 hours of being "disconnected." Dwight is on Day 3.)
  
• For the miracle that two construction workers came to Dwight's aid on the scene of the accident and administered CPR to ensure blood flow to his brain. (Read news about it here.)
  
• That Dwight's mom and another relative have accepted Christ since the accident.
  
• That Dwight is covered in prayer.
  
• Our God is a living God.
  
• Medical care.
  
• For the life and renewal of spring.
• For a God who listens to our prayers.
• And the list goes on and on...

Psalm 7:17

I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness
and will sing praise to the name of the Lord Most High.


Psalm 28:7

The Lord is my strength and my shield;
my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.

My heart leaps for joy
and I will give thanks to Him in song.


Psalm 30:11-12

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O Lord my god, I will give you thanks forever.

Mid-Morning: Healer

It is incredibly exciting to read through the New Testament gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke & John) and see Jesus healing time and again - a leper, a soldier's servant, a dead girl, a sick woman, the demon-possessed, a blind man, and on and on.

I have phrases in my Bible underlined, such as "...and [Jesus] healed all the sick" (Matthew 8:16b) and "healing all kinds of diseases and sicknesses" (Matthew 9:35b).

While we may not know and understand why not all believers are healed, we can be sure that God is the Great Physician. This song was written by a man recently diagnosed with cancer in recognition that Jesus is his healer and his portion.



Let's praise God that He is our portion, Dwight's portion, and more than all we need.

We will meet again at lunchtime.

Breakfast: With Jesus, All Things are Possible

Matthew 9:18-26

While he was saying this, a synagogue leader came and knelt before him and said, “My daughter has just died. But come and put your hand on her, and she will live.” Jesus got up and went with him, and so did his disciples.

Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak. She said to herself, “If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed.”

Jesus turned and saw her. “Take heart, daughter,” he said, “your faith has healed you.” And the woman was healed at that moment.

When Jesus entered the synagogue leader’s house and saw the noisy crowd and people playing pipes, he said, “Go away. The girl is not dead but asleep.” But they laughed at him. After the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took the girl by the hand, and she got up. News of this spread through all that region.






Is Dwight's condition impossible? Perhaps so, but I take great comfort in knowing that, with Jesus, all things are possible.

A year ago, doctors did not think that my cousin Adam would get beyond his comatose state. He is now talking and nearly walking on his own. Thank you, Jesus, for making all things possible!

Pray

• That God would hear the prayers of faithful servants, today

• That Dwight's sins would be forgiven. (Jesus would forgive sins before performing a physical healing.)

• That God would send the Holy Spirit to lay His healing hands on Dwight.

• For a miraculous improvement in the condition of Dwight's brain.

• That our faith would increase.


We'll meet, again, mid-morning.

The Eve of Fasting: Preparing our Hearts

It is getting late, and I realize not even our committed prayer warriors will read this before morning, but regardless, I hope it can serve as a way to prepare for our day ahead.

We have come together for a day of united prayer and fasting for Dwight Matsuda, as we pray for his healing following his cardiac arrest earlier this month. Let's begin with an attitude of worship. (And again, what follows is adapted or taken directly from my father Doug's post from last year as we began to pray and fast for my cousin Adam.)

Worship. Acknowledge God's greatness. Praise him for who he is. I invite you to worship to this song.



God is bigger, greater, stronger and wiser than we can imagine.

Confess and repent. Acknowledge how broken you are. Admit the sin in your life, those things that keep you from God's excellent standard. Ask God to help you turn from your ways and turn toward him.

When we come to God with a bigger view of who he is (through worship) and a more accurate view of who we are (not God!), then we are much better prepared for the spiritual battle we are about to fight.

The only way for Dwight to truly recover is through a miraculous healing by God. That's where we come in. We cannot heal Dwight, but together, we can "loudly" petition God to heal Dwight. Corporately (formed into a unified body of individuals), we will lift our voices to God. We have chosen to fast so that we would have more time for prayer and be more sensitive to the presence of the Holy Spirit.

For some of us, we might not know exactly what to pray for tomorrow. Don't worry about it. If you open your heart to the Holy Spirit, you will be able to converse with God without searching for words to say. You can also check in for new posts to this blog for some suggestions.

Study and follow examples of faith. Remember that God, through His son, Jesus Christ performed many supernatural healings. In closing, I refer you the The Faith of the Centurion, which is documented in Matthew 8:5-13.

5When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. 6"Lord," he said, "my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering."

7Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him."

8The centurion replied, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. 9For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."

10When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, "I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. 11I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. 12But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

13Then Jesus said to the centurion, "Go! It will be done just as you believed it would." And his servant was healed at that very hour.

Let's pray with the faith of the centurion!

We'll meet again at breakfast time.

The Logistics

We already have a few blog followers and several commitments from friends to join the united day of prayer and fasting tomorrow for Dwight Matsuda. If you haven't yet figured out what this is all about, please read the first post.

Before we dive into our day of prayer and fasting together, I wanted to touch on just a few logistical issues:

Why Fast?

In short, fasting is an opportunity for us to focus our thoughts, prayers and efforts on things most important to God. It’s a way to draw near to God. Practically speaking, it also provides some time for dedicated conversation with God. Instead of spending time eating, spend that time in prayer.

You can read our Why Fast? page (located at the top of the blog site for easy reference) to read further about fasting, fasting alternatives, what the Bible says about fasting, and more.

How to Join the Fast

There are no rules or requirements for joining the fast on Thursday. If you choose to fast and pray for Dwight (and his family), that is between God and you. Having said that, I believe it would be awesome if we fast corporately, rather than individually.

Obviously, we cannot physically come together to pray. However, through the power of the Internet, we can join together in virtual corporate prayer and fasting. I think it would be neat to know who is participating (again, no obligation). So, I will offer up these options for participation:

1. Publicly join — You can post a comment to the original article (Let's Unite in Prayer for Dwight), stating that you are participating in Thursday's prayer and fasting. This option would be a public proclamation of your participation.

2. Private confirmation — If you don't want to announce your participation publicly, send an email to me (hillary.mortensen@gmail.com) letting me know that you are in. Don't worry, I am not keeping track of who is or isn't involved, nor will I share your name. I am simply going to keep track of numbers. I think would be a blessing to Dwight and his family to be able to let them know how many people fasted and prayed for his healing.

3. Anonymous — Again, there is no requirement to tell anybody that you have elected to participate. The most important thing is that we are all lifting up Adam in prayer. Do not feel obligated to let anybody know. God will know. That's who really counts.

Time Zone Issues

I will be posting articles today and tomorrow, most of which are intended to be read at specific times throughout our fasting experience. For example there will be an "Eve of Fasting" post, tonight, that is intended to be an after-dinner article. However, "after dinner" in North Carolina might be "lunch time" time in Honolulu.

After careful consideration, the articles that are intended for specific times will be somewhat targeted to the Eastern Time Zone. Since we may have people joining us from the East Coast, I want them to follow along throughout the day without having to wait for a post.

I am assuming that if you live in Washington, and it is 9:00 a.m., you can wait three hours to click on Thursday's "Lunch Time" article. :-)

What Next?

I will post at least one more article tonight as we prepare for our day of prayer and fasting.

On Thursday, I will be posting throughout the day, particularly at meal times. I will be sharing some scriptures, making observations, suggesting prayer topics, and providing you with encouragement throughout the day. Keep checking in whenever you can so that we can "be together" as we pray for Dwight.

Your comments to any of the posts are encouraged and welcome!

Let's Unite in Prayer for Dwight

I gather that you are reading this blog because you have some relationship to Dwight Matsuda. You may be a friend, family member, relative, colleague, or former student. Perhaps you live near him, in which case you have had the privilege to visit him in the hospital; however, you may live on the other side of the country or the world, only reading online updates on his current condition.

Unfortunately, I haven’t seen Dwight in several years, and we haven’t corresponded in way too long. My knowledge of his condition is limited, and at least at the time of writing this, I have yet to speak with his family. I also don’t know his medical chances of survival and healing. What I do know is this:

1. Dwight is a beloved child of God whose upright life exhibits the unconditional love of God.
2. Due to Dwight’s cardiac arrest at the wheel and the resulting car accident, he suffered severe brain damage and is fighting for his physical life.
3. The stability of his condition after being removed from the ventilator on Monday is a miracle in and of itself.
4. God can and does work miracles! (I have become more and more convinced of this following my cousin’s motorcycle accident one year ago this week. His miraculous recovery has defied all odds, and Adam, once in a coma, is now eating, walking and talking!!! Read more here if you’re interested in his wife’s daily update and journey. Check this site devoted to prayer and fasting for Adam to see what this site for Dwight is all about.)
5. I have never felt surer that we need to unite as prayer warriors for Dwight.

Hello, my name is Hillary Mortensen, and I was a teammate in Kazakhstan with Dwight during the 2006-2007 school year. There, I had the pleasure of working, serving, and playing alongside Dwight six days a week. I have long admired his gentle spirit, thoughtfulness, patience, and willingness to show us how to prepare the SPAM “sushi” with the maker someone sent him.

If you are reading this, I presume you have been impacted by Dwight’s life in some way, whether directly or indirectly. I invite you as friends and family of Dwight to join me tomorrow, Thursday, May 19, in a united day of prayer and fasting on his behalf.

My father initiated corporate prayer and fasting on behalf of my cousin last year, and likely not coincidentally, this post was written one year, to the day, after his introductory post. At his prompting, I am moving forward in the endeavor to unite prayer warriors for Dwight, and I am honored to use much of my father’s content going forward in providing background information on the hows and whys. (Yes, much of it is word for word. Thanks, Dad!)

Why Thursday? Why not? We need to act quickly, but also leave a little time for some planning and preparation. (We'll share a few tips between now and then.)

Why Fasting? I will provide some more information in subsequent posts. For now, just consider that hundreds of us could be united together in a spiritual practice commanded by Jesus.

It isn’t too much to ask, is it? I am not an expert on all the spiritual aspects of fasting, but I have done it, and survived (better than I thought I would, actually!)…and I have finished amazed at both God’s response to requests, as well as his faithfulness in growing me personally. I just believe that giving up a few meals to spend time in prayer is the least we can do to support Dwight and seek after God.

(Note: We will also share information about "partial fasts" for those with medical or health conditions.)

I am not a pastor or theologian, but I believe that a unified day of prayer and fasting is a good way for our requests to be heard and for us to grow. The fasting portion is a sign of obedience to God, and the sacrifice of not eating indicates the seriousness of our requests.

Folks, it’s time to get serious. Will you join me on Thursday?

Life is short. Pray hard.